After a stressful, yet fleeting relationship towards the end of my grade 12 year, I was heartbroken. High school flings may be just that, but they impact our lives at a fairly critical stage, and to dismiss them as just that is foolish. They can, and in most cases do, form the foundations for relationships that come after as all relationships do. Two years went by and I had a failed stint at college that left me lying a lot about where I was and who I was with, saying I was with my roommate to nosy friends for fear of not keeping my private life exactly that. I finally met someone who felt like she could see that I was still pained by my previous relationship. I was over it but she could see that I was still held down by it. That year I spent with this person was a reason I drifted away from several friends during that time, but despite that, I can’t say I regret losing those friendships because she was also the one who showed me what I wanted from life.

I owe this person a great deal, she didn’t try to fix me, she helped me heal. She had no expectation of who I was or who I would become. She didn’t care that I had my own baggage. We had started to see a future together, however, an opportunity came up that she couldn’t refuse, even though she tried.

This opportunity would take her to the states and to the states she went to. The movers had come and she and her father had booked a hotel in Ottawa for an early morning flight the next day. That was the last night I would ever see her again. Being separated was painful for both of us, and with zero prospects of either me going to the states, or her coming back we decided we should end it. And so we did. Though it was for the best, my biggest regret was letting her go, but I know in my heart of hearts that if I had asked her to stay she would have. She would have forfeited a golden ticket and I would have single-handled ruined her chance of a great future. I couldn’t do that to the one who healed me.

Should the day come that we meet again, know that despite the circumstances, to some degree I still and always will love you. And I’ll continue to love you, only as the person who saved me and filled me with life when I needed it most. I’ll always love you, but only ever as that.